Little satin doodad thingies

I have always had a minor, yet tiresome, figure problem that has caused more irritation than angst over the years.

In the fortunate possession of a sister who sewed, I found myself as a teen visiting her with armfuls of clothing that required alteration. Between pinning and muttering how much work I was giving her, she informed me that my shoulders were too narrow.

That had me nonplussed. Too narrow? So that was why the shoulder straps of dresses and tops always slipped off, putting me in danger of major wardrobe malfunctions on the odd occasion. Secretly, I was rather pleased that any part of my figure was smaller than the average. (Of course, I could have wished I was taller, with long legs, but I suppose I drew comfort from the fact that those defects were a common dilemma worldwide.)

When I was a little older and started buying vintage clothing, I made an interesting discovery: there were other women out there who had this annoying problem. I found sewn into the straps of one 60s dress a pair of little satin doodad thingies! Their function was obvious: one slipped the ribbon under the bra strap and snapped it shut, thereby holding the sleeve securely on one’s shoulder. It was an epiphany. One glorious day I found a pair that were attached only by safety pins, so I was even able to swap them at need.

…the shoulder straps of dresses and tops always slipped off, putting me in danger of major wardrobe malfunctions

Recently this problem returned to aggravate me for an entire day in the office. I became so exasperated I resorted to sticky tape. One of my colleagues, amused, told me about a little thing called Hollywood Tape. I can do better than that! I thought to myself, recalling the doodads. They at least had the virtue of being recyclable.

The tragedy was that I could not find them! I searched my lingerie drawers; my sewing box (an old, vintage biscuit tin that I had recently organised); the catch-all dish on top of my tallboy, but they were nowhere to be found. Then I remembered during a recent trip to a haberdasher, I had absently noted that these anachronistic items were still being manufactured. I hied myself back to Clegg’s just yesterday and purchased some. I discovered they even have an official title: Shoulder Strap Retainers.

Now I just need to sit down and sew them into my cute sleeveless top so that I can actually wear it. Or maybe I’ll just lazily pin them in and leave them to be serendipitously discovered by someone else in forty years' time.