Newsflash! Princess Makes Shopping Error!

Once upon a time when I was poking around an old op shop on my way home from work, I came across this tote bag made from newspaper. Inside I found the original tag that declared it to be the work of some designer I’d never heard of, and its original cost to be $35.

I wondered who on earth would ever have paid that much for some plastic–coated stock market listings, but it amused me. I paid $2.50 for it and carried my groceries home in it.

That was the only time that bag was ever used. My amusement proved to be short-lived: it didn’t even possess the virtue of being an interesting read. Why hadn’t the designer at least used some sensational front page with lurid gossip-column pictures?

It hung for a while on a hook before I decided to photograph it for this journal as an object lesson in how not to shop. Even I make mistakes sometimes. After the photoshoot, the bag found its way to the floor.

Then a couple months ago, Melbourne experienced a violent storm during which my apartment was flooded. My walk-in robe was two inches underwater. In the aftermath of the cleanup, I found this bag was ruined (fortunately there were no other serious casualties). “What a pity,” I found myself thinking. The newspaper was not only yellowed, but now it was wet, with water seeping beneath the plastic.

Without compunction, I tossed it into the bin where it belonged with yesterday’s news. At least I had got a story out of it.

The End.