Umbrellas Anonymous

It’s the last day of winter! I don’t know about you, but I shall be celebrating with my annual ritual of throwing one umbrella into the rubbish bin.  

I bought this cute polka-dotted umbrella to replace my beloved old one (which itself was not very old). Knowing full well how fragile they make them these days, I treated this one tenderly, hardly daring to use it; only taking it with me if possible showers were forecast – merely as a precautionary measure. If thunderstorms were assured, I took my sturdy black vintage umbrella with me instead. It defies a gale.

So I cannot understand how, after three or four gentle uses over the space of a month, three (THREE!) spokes on this umbrella have snapped. It’s a disgrace.

This has happened to other people too. I know, because they all poured out their tales of woe when I aired my rage. What is to be done?

I think I shall start a group, and call it Umbrellas Anonymous. People of the world unite! Let us all take our broken umbrellas with us to China and whack the CEOs of these shoddy manufactories over the head. That’ll teach them to rain on our parade.