Princess Finds Lump of Coal in Stocking!

Dorothy Shoes: Side Elevation :: Watts // Big Up // No flashCan you believe it? I almost literally found a lump of coal in my stocking on Christmas morning. Everything was arranged and I was ready to go: the last item on the agenda was to put on my new glittery red Dorothy shoes.

I crammed my right foot in … and in one of those earth-shattering filmic moments was pulled up short. Something was not right. Had I switched places overnight with Cinderella’s sister? I was disbelieving for a moment and turned the shoe over. It was in fact the wrong size.

I turned the left over. It was also the wrong size.

Impotent rage seethed within me. On Thursday I had tried on my usual size, but found the shoes were a little short in length for me, and I asked the salesgirl for the next size up. She obliged, and asked me if they were better. “Much better,” I told her happily.

She returned a few minutes later and asked automatically, “Are you going to think about it?”

“No, I’m going to take them.”

She seemed surprised. Perhaps her usual clientele were not usually so decisive. But: Red. Glitter. Dorothy. Magic could happen in those shoes. How could I possibly say no?

Dorothy Shoes: Rear View :: Watts // BIg Up // No flash

Magic could happen in those shoes. How could I possibly say no? … Magic did happen. Black magic. 

Magic did happen. Black magic. That witch masquerading as my fairy godmother (to mix fairytales) pulled a switcheroo, and sold me the smaller shoes.

I wore them anyway, and beamed at the railway turnstile attendant’s grandiose compliments as I bravely hobbled through. Later on I accepted my family’s compliments through gritted teeth, and a couple of hours later the shoes were off. Fortunately I had taken a spare pair of shoes with me to travel home in.

The next day I cleaned up the shoes (not a mark on them) and promptly swapped the evil twins for a good pair. The moral of the tale: it’s Christmas, so don’t be naughty, be nice – at least until the salesgirl gives you the right pair of shoes. Then you can whack her upside the head with the wrong ones … what?