The Crazy Dress

A few summers ago I pounced on a silk Scanlan & Theodore dress in the Albury Salvos. Visiting my niece in the country, I was skeptical about her pronouncement of the wonders waiting to be discovered in this opportunity shop. But this dress alone justified her grandiose declaration.

There was the small matter of just how the very long ties should be woven through the holes in the bodice to form straps. I would figure that out later, I decide. This dress was undeniably a bargain!

On our return to her house, I puzzled over the ties. The seams and tag on the dress are misguiding. But summer was over and I didn’t have an opportunity to wear it. Next year, I promised myself.

Once more the ties confounded me

The following summer, I pulled the frock out. Once more the ties confounded me. In a hurry, I was forced to abandon the project for a garment that did not require an industrial design degree to fasten. Summer passed.

Having hung in my closet for two years, I finally decide to do a photoshoot of ‘the crazy dress’, as I have come to call it. I wrap the straps in all the crazy configurations I had attempted in the past. While I am doing so, I inadvertently lose my grip: the bodice slips sideways. The hole through which the straps are inserted is now in the centre of my chest.

The penny drops.

It’s March, but it’s a very warm Saturday night for autumn. I wear the dress at last to the Moomba Carnival.