Fascinator Baygon!

I loathe fascinators. They are an abomination. They ought to be crushed underfoot by any self-respecting woman with any pretensions to chic. In fact, that is the photoshoot I hoped to bring to you today, on this Melbourne Cup Day holiday but it was not to be, alas. I have no fascinator in my possession to destroy.

Feathers, ribbons, sinnamay, fie!

These lamentably ubiquitous accessories seen on female heads everywhere during the Spring Racing Carnival look like nothing more than a plague of insects have landed in the city. They have even been forbidden at Royal Ascot. Feathers, ribbons, sinnamay, fie! If only we could spray them with some Baygon Protector Multi Fascinator Killer – that would soon rid the city of these pests.