Stand Like a Lady!

All that’s missing is a lollypopWe’ve all heard the humorous stories about women who are unaccustomed to walking in heels, who fall over their own feet. We’ve seen the models on the catwalk tipping off ridiculously high platform shoes and we feel for them in their utter humiliation as they faceplant on the runway. We cheer when fellow models lift up their fallen comrades and help them hobble away from the scene of their disgrace with as much dignity as possible. It was the designer’s fault, after all.

That’s walking. Walking can be difficult at times, and accidents happen, so they’re forgivable. But what about standing still, huh? Do you need talent for that? Again, celebrities have mastered the art of presenting their best angle when they pose for the paparazzi.
Observe:

Eeeek! Unfortunately, celebs have been standing like this for years – click and jump to a story filed in 2009!Some girls just cannot seem to resist standing pigeon-toed. This looks nauseatingly cute on an adult woman, on a par with twirling one’s hair and coyly batting one’s eyelashes. Is she trying to look all demure and dolly-like because this is what catches a man? Ugh! It makes me want to barf. When I see this in fashion editorials I want to slap the photographer (probably a man) directing the shoot. It’s offensive and insulting to the grown women reading the magazine.

Perhaps they are shy, you say. Perhaps they are not used to the spotlight and don’t know what to do with their enormous feet and hands. If that’s the case they need a coach. It is an utterly inelegant look. In fact, severe cases of actual pigeon toe are considered a form of clubfoot. Lord Byron had a clubfoot and he never had any luck with the ladies, did he? was considered the sex god of the Regency period. Hmm, ok, we’ll leave that example alone. You’ll still have to agree, it’s not a very attractive disfigurement. 

The effortlessly elegant AudreyJust ask yourself this: how would Audrey stand?*

*Audrey had a ballerina’s grace (she did study ballet after all), and ballet is in some cases actually recommended for children as a remedy for mild cases of pigeon-toe.