Two-For-One

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I don’t like sparkly jewellery unless it’s really enormous. Since really enormous sparkly jewellery is also really expensive, I take mine fake. Take this mammoth cocktail ring for instance. It’s huge. One jumbo-sized brilliant is surrounded by lots and lots of little diamonds around the band. If it was real, I’d have to be some maharajah’s favourite concubine or something.

But what fun! It is also an excellent weapon of self-defence. Not only does it give my punch an extra edge, but should I be mugged in bright sunlight, the blinding flash of this colossal rock would first incapacitate my would-be assailant. So really I get two-for-one: it’s not only a ring, but it’s a weapon … but it’s a ring … Great, huh? What a bargain.