Bye, Brolly

I am so sad! I’ve seen things you wouldn’t have believed. An MNG umbrella blown inside out by fierce wind. I watched another mangled near the Botanical Gardens Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears … in … rain.

Okay, that’s a ribald joke referencing the speech Roy Batty, played by Rutger Hauer, makes at the end of the film Blade Runner. But still, I am devastated my favourite glen plaid umbrella has a broken wing. Once more it was the mischievous wind playing havoc, bending one of the spokes. It was still usable however, and did last for quite some time before the rubbish modern metal snapped in two. But now no more. It is trash.

[Vintage umbrellas] have a pointy steel spike on the end, which is extremely handy for self-defence in an emergency situation.

I remember the day I got it, one boiling hot summer day a few years ago. The brand is Shelta, and they usually retail for $40 or more. I found it in a thrift store for $6 and snapped it up. You can never have too many umbrellas is one of my maxims. My niece on a recent visit demanded to know why I own so many umbrellas. This is why.

I do prefer vintage umbrellas, because they are made from steel and have twice as many spokes as modern umbrellas, which makes them much sturdier in a violent wind. They also usually have a pointy steel spike on the end, which is extremely handy for self-defence in an emergency situation. (It is an actual fact that muggers are more wary of people carrying long umbrellas.) Remember this next time you go vintage shopping and spot an umbrella: Spokes and Spikes.

Photo: This week.