The Green Lady Wins

So it’s time for another instalment of ‘The Inter-Universe Beauty Pageant!’ Up for your delectation is a trio of colourful ladies. (The drawings are making me giggle, but the text is making me cringe. What a lurid imagination I had.)

Our Number One contestant is the Australian Olivia Johns (above) – that’s Miss Earth to you. She is a model and airhostess – à la Elizabeth Taylor, with that bouffant hairdo. She sports an ombré dress in shades of maroon, red and pale pink.

Next up is our Venusian cousin, Chrystal Nymph (below). She is a gardeness, and Santago Island (where she lives) is the greenest on Venus. The rainforests and poolahs are simply splendid, and waterfalls are plenty. Naturally her skin is pale olive, and her hair dark green. (They don’t just have green thumbs on Venus.) Her outfit seems to take its inspiration from the original Star Trek.

Lastly is Miss Neptune: Nodela Sealion (below). Neptune is a water planet – hence the blue shade of Nodela’s skin, a type of camoflage. They keep their figures by swimming a lot. Neptune holds nothing poisonous or bad, and is ruled by the just and kind ruler, King Neptune. Nodela’s fishtailed gown vaguely resembles a Missoni knit.

Good to see I wasn’t shy of making up words when I was a youngster. By the way, you might notice the shadow of some ribbons behind Miss Venus. She won second and third ribbons from two of the judges (myself and one of my cousins, respectively).

Next time on The Inter-Universe Beauty Channel, look forward to meeting a chartreuse-haired mining teacher from Uranus, a midget art teacher from Saturn, and a very tall burlesque dancer wearing a maroon teddy and go-go boots hailing from Jupiter.