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Thou Shalt Stay Classy
THE SECOND FASHION COMMANDMENT
Once upon a time (say, back in the unemancipated sartorial dark ages of the 1950s) women dressed to please their menfolk. Thank goodness we’ve moved on from those days … Instead, we dress to impress our friends and peers; our work colleagues or rivals; our bosses. Sometimes it’s the object of our desire – and, cue dramatic Psycho-style music – our FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW.
Much less pressure indeed. Thank goodness.
More importantly, today most women are free to dress to please themselves, and if we do wear something to make ourselves feel sexy, it might be hidden – a whisper of vintage silk lingerie, or a tuxedo worn with just a racy, lacy bra underneath. When you see a girl on the street going the whole shebang – thigh-high skirt with fishnets and stilettos, a tight animal-print skirt with eye-popping cleavage, and makeup slathered on – we all know what we’re thinking: Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman – before the transformation.
A classy woman … has a good sense of what should be kept private, and what should be made public.
But what is classy anyway? It is certainly not about a cookie-cutter style of elegance in fashion; rather it is an elegance of dress that is defined by elegance of mind. A classy woman has good manners and discretion in all things; she is considerate of others, generous, and she is not mean-spirited. She has a good sense of what should be kept private, and what should be made public. She has confidence and faith in herself, and does not need to ‘prove’ herself to others.
As far as fashion is concerned however, the question is: in this day and age when absolutely anything goes, how does one manage to look sexy, and still stay classy?
It’s as easy as A-B-C …
THE SECOND FASHION COMMANDMENT
Once upon a time (say, back in the unemancipated sartorial dark ages of the 1950s) women dressed to please their menfolk. Thank goodness we’ve moved on from those days … Instead, we dress to impress our friends and peers; our work colleagues or rivals; our bosses. Sometimes it’s the object of our desire – and, cue dramatic Psycho-style music – our FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW.
Much less pressure indeed. Thank goodness.
More importantly, today most women are free to dress to please themselves, and if we do wear something to make ourselves feel sexy, it might be hidden – a whisper of vintage silk lingerie, or a tuxedo worn with just a racy, lacy bra underneath. When you see a girl on the street going the whole shebang – thigh-high skirt with fishnets and stilettos, a tight animal-print skirt with eye-popping cleavage, and makeup slathered on – we all know what we’re thinking: Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman – before the transformation.
A classy woman … has a good sense of what should be kept private, and what should be made public.
But what is classy anyway? It is certainly not about a cookie-cutter style of elegance in fashion; rather it is an elegance of dress that is defined by elegance of mind. A classy woman has good manners and discretion in all things; she is considerate of others, generous, and she is not mean-spirited. She has a good sense of what should be kept private, and what should be made public. She has confidence and faith in herself, and does not need to ‘prove’ herself to others.
As far as fashion is concerned however, the question is: in this day and age when absolutely anything goes, how does one manage to look sexy, and still stay classy?
It’s as easy as A-B-C …
A is for Artfulness
Be artful in what you choose to wear. Obviously consider the occasion for which you are dressing and dress appropriately. We don’t need to ooze so much sex appeal we’re frightening (or worse, comical) – we are not caveladies, dear readers. Subtlety is more enticing than an overt display of flesh spilling out over every edge of hemline. Too much bare flesh showing leaves nothing to the imagination. What is left to pique someone’s interest if everything is already on view?
Sometimes it’s not only how much flesh you show, but what. An unexpected flash of bare skin is always more erotic, especially when everything else is covered up, and even more so when one removes a wrap to reveal a naked back, or neck, or arms. Not for nothing did Victorian men get all hot and bothered when they glimpsed a bit of bare ankle, or stocking top (they still get excited about that today – stockings I mean, not so much ankles).
I once saw a very pretty young girl with long blonde tresses walking in the street looking like she had escaped from a Brassaï photograph of 1920s street walkers. She was wearing a very short white babydoll dress with black thigh high stockings, and little else. My friend Lulue and I looked and gasped at one another: What was she thinking? we asked ourselves. She looked like she was on the prowl for someone to seduce.
Here’s a simple rule to follow: if it’s something you could imagine wearing in the bedroom for a loved one, then it probably doesn’t belong on the street.
Not for nothing did Victorian men get all hot and bothered when they glimpsed a bit of bare ankle …
The correct underwear is important too. There is no use in wearing a dress with a daring open back if it’s ruined by a visible bra. Or a strapless top with a bra. Or even worse, one with see-through straps. Thank goodness the fad for flaunting g-strings over the top of low-rise jeans has just about died out.
Look at this before and after showing a pretty blue racerback silk tank with and without a bra. How much nicer is it without bra straps showing? Quite apart from looking tacky, the straps completely ruin the circular cutouts of the design. It’s essential to own at least one strapless bra in nude, and preferably two, with the additional being black.
Just as bad is not wearing underwear when you should, or the wrong underwear. Some of us need more support than others. One should be especially wary of Visible Panty Lines with tight bottoms – this is the time for a g-string. Ill-fitting bras under tight tops create a very unattractive line too, or even worse (gasp!): no bra at all under a tight white top.
B is for Balance
Remember, balance is the key. Coco Chanel is famous for saying ‘before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take at least one thing off’. She was addressing those women with a predilection to over-accessorising of course, and in this situation I would like to paraphrase that to, ‘before you leave the house, look in the mirror and put at least one thing on’.
‘before you leave the house, look in the mirror and put at least one thing on’
Follow the same ratio as with clothing silhuoettes, when you pair a tight top with wide-legged trousers for instance. If you’re showing off your legs, then keep your boobs covered. Or if your dress is very tight than err on the side of length rather than brevity. If your dress is see-through, then perhaps a slip might be a good idea. Remember too lighting is important – a garment that looks opaque at home in your bedroom might be far more revealing in bright sunlight.
C is for Confidence
One of the most important ingredients often forgotten by amateur fashionistas is CONFIDENCE! Confidence makes you shine and stand out from the crowd – who can help staring at a woman who lifts her chin and walks confidently with her shoulders back? She will always draw the eye.
But if you dare to bare your back and you look and feel sexy, then you must OWN it. Be proud and stand tall.
By the same token, don’t be forever tugging down a tiny skirt for fear you’re revealing a little too much – it looks idiotic and self-conscious, the opposite of the breezy confidence and sexiness you want to exude. If your skirt is riding up that much, then you probably are wearing the wrong size.
Nor are goosebumps ever sexy. I can’t help pitying those pretty young things that go gallivanting about on freezing Saturday evenings dressed in flimsy dresses. Wear a coat for heaven’s sake, and don’t look like such a silly fool.
Do’s and Dont’s
Exposure:
- DON’T overexpose – retain some mystery, but DO show off a sliver of skin in an unexpected way, and DO leave room for the imagination
- DO wear the right size and avoid wardrobe malfunctions such as nipple exposure, muffin tops, underbum, VPLs or similar
- DO dress appropriately for the occasion – DON’T go to the office dressed like you’re heading for the nightclub
- If it’s cold out DO wear a coat – goosebumps are not sexy!
Lingerie:
- DO wear the correct underwear for your outfit: DON’T wear bras under backless garments and for goodness sake DON’T wear a bra with see-through straps (click here to read more on this topic), and DON’T go wobbling about bra-less in a tight top (especially a white one)
- DO wear the right lingerie under sheer garments (click here for more detail)
Stockings:
- DO wear seamed stockings, but make sure the seams are straight
- DO try stay-ups or suspenders or over-the-knee socks for a more nonchalant look – but DON’T wear your skirt too short (unless you are at a Cosplay convention)
- DON’T wear ripped stockings
Shoes:
- DON’T wear stripper shoes
- DON’T take painful shoes off and walk barefoot in the city streets – this looks trashy (not to mention dangerous – you could step on something you ill regret): DO carry a pair of fold-up flats in your handbag for emergencies instead
- DO make sure you know how to walk in heels before you fall and break your ankle
Jewellery & Makeup:
- DON’T go overboard with jewellery or risk looking like a Christmas tree decked out in holiday decorations
- DON’T wear hooker makeup
- DON’T overload on perfume – your nose may be desensitised so you can’t smell it, but everyone else can!
Attitude:
- DO mind your manners – a classy look loses all its cred if you have a guttermouth or behave in an otherwise vulgar manner (such as removing your undergarments in public, or having a screaming match in the street with your partner)
- Above all: DO be confident!
A Frenchwoman’s Guide to Elegance
Here are some interesting excerpts from Madame Genevieve Antoine Dariaux’s book A Guide to Elegance (Harper Collins Publishers 2003 – updated since the original version was published in 1964.) A French style guru, Dariaux spent most of her life in Paris. She opened her own fashion house before becoming for many years the directrice to Nina Ricci. She has this to say on the subject of sexy dressing, rather scathingly and amusingly:
‘So-called ‘sexy’ styles are never truly elegant, but only suitable for the vamps of gangster films or comic strips. Besides, the authorities responsible for these exaggerations are neither the fashion designers, who only like the most slender, flat-chested mannequins, nor the garment industry, which has all the trouble in the world trying to lodge a generous bosom in the bodice of a dress that has just arrived from Paris without the slightest sign of a dart in front! No, the promoters of the aggressive poitrine are the brassiere manufacturers, who construct and reinforce their creations as solidly as skyscrapers, with the result that those anatomical features which were intended to be soft, natural cushions, have been transformed into veritable armour plate. The collective adoration for the big bust and the publicity given to the measurements of certain celebrities is a phenomenon perhaps worthy of the attention of a psychiatrist, or the jury at a livestock competition – but it certainly has nothing to do with either fashion or elegance.’
But Dariaux does give us hope:
‘On the other hand, don’t believe that in order to be elegant you must dress with austerity and only wear clothes with high round necklines and unrevealing full skirts like the saintly ladies of the Salvation Army. Evening gowns with extremely low necklines are almost always flattering. And dresses that mould the figure – when they merely suggest the forms they cover rather than expose them, and when they are very well made – can cause every head to turn in admiration. Nevertheless, if you are not absolutely sure of the perfection of your figure, and especially if it is a bit on the generous side, instead of emphasising it, veil it. You will have everything to gain and nothing to lose. As for the Wonderbra, they are meant to be worn only in absolutely desperate cases, and even then with discretion.
A kind of mythology seems to have been built up concerning men’s preferences in fashion, with the result that many a young woman who deliberately dresses to attract masculine admiration often inspires only astonishment. To separate once and for all the fact from fiction, this is
What is Really Attractive to Men
- full skirts, tiny waists, and a long-legged look
- clothes that are in fashion, but not avant-garde; men follow the fashion trends more than you may realise, and even the Wall Street Journal prints articles about fashion
- almost any shade of blue; white; very pale and dark grey; certain men hate to see their wives in black; others adore it
- perfume – but modern men appreciate lighter perfumes than their fathers did, subtle sophisticated blends rather than the simpler scents
- collars on suits and coats
What Men Think They Like (but only in the movies)
- revealingly tight skirts and aggressively pointed bosoms
- false eyelashes
- ‘femme fatale’ lingerie
- musky, oriental scents
- spike heels
- yards of black fringe and miles of red chiffon flounces
In short, men enjoy being envied, but they hat feeling conspicuous. And they particularly dislike vulgarity in the women they love.’
Some of those rules are a trifle old-fashioned (I almost never wear collared shirts myself for instance), and I cannot think Dariaux speaks for all men, but the list does offer food for thought. Her advice is stern, but it is always better to err on the side of caution, n’est-ce pas?
~
Come back next week for the Third Fashion Commandment. If you’ve just tuned in, or would like to refresh your memory, click here to review all the Fashion Commandments.
Thou Shalt Know Thy Style
THE FIRST FASHION COMMANDMENT
Everyone talks about style. What is it? It is not fashion, which comes and goes, changing fundamentally between generations and eras, influenced by social mores and pervading attitudes; it is not in the successive polar opposite trends that sweep through the seasons as though designers deliberately wish to confound us; or in the week to week harassment of chain stores and online purveyors of goods and eager bloggers that bombard us with newsletters, urging us to enter the lists and race the clock with ever increasing speed, to be more fashionable and up-to-the-minute than anyone else. Fashion is driven by mass consumerism touting a desperate theology of looking younger, cooler, thinner, sexier, faster – and, inevitably, just like anyone else.
Style, though, is innate. It is an instinctive and discriminating response to fashion, and sometimes it is in fact against it. Style embodies the spirit within, and encompasses elegance, grace, and wit. It is far more than simple obedience to fashion rules, for a stylish woman knows which can be broken and when - she is not moulded after a pattern card of classic chic, for that would be too easy. She is confident in her sartorial choices, she knows who she is, and sometimes she must be more than one woman in a single day. But whether she is athlete, professional or mother, her clothing will always possess a certain sense of style, unique to herself. It cannot be entirely quantified, for it is as individual as her own personality.
Style is confidence in your choice. It is the ability to carry off the outré or the merely witty with panache.
A stylish woman will draw attention and admiration not only by her attire, but in her bearing or posture – and the way she carries herself, walks, stands, gestures, speaks – and certainly also in her grooming.
This sense of style takes time to develop – years, sometimes – and some never quite find their footing, puzzled by and rendered indecisive by the myriad of options clamouring for their attention.
In the simplest of terms, personal style is about what you like, rather than what arbiters of fashion say that you should like. It is knowing your figure and what suits you, in taking pleasure in dressing to please yourself, rather than others. Style is confidence in your choice. It is the ability to carry off the outré or the merely witty with panache. Equally, style can be dazzling by its sheer exuberance, or it can possess a quiet force in minimal elegance.
Style cannot be taught however, and it is not necessarily inborn, it is rather developed over time through self-awareness and conscious choice, which eventually becomes unconscious habit and even instinct.
This probably sounds daunting and a lot of work for something so apparently frivolous (although I would present the argument that feeling one looks one's best is an enormous boost to the self-esteem, impacting on every aspect of life), though it is an evolution that usually begins in the teens, developing fully in adulthood.
But for the fully-fledged adults that believe themselves entirely lacking in style, beginning may be an entirely pragmatic and truncated step, rather than the wild experimentation of teenagerhood that is gradually honed over the years. So in an entirely practical vein, what is required to achieve a stylish appearance with the quickest results?
The first commandment states: Thou shalt know thy sartorial identity, understand thy figure and garb thyself accordingly.
So where to begin?
THE FIRST FASHION COMMANDMENT
Everyone talks about style. What is it? It is not fashion, which comes and goes, changing fundamentally between generations and eras, influenced by social mores and pervading attitudes; it is not in the successive polar opposite trends that sweep through the seasons as though designers deliberately wish to confound us; or in the week to week harassment of chain stores and online purveyors of goods and eager bloggers that bombard us with newsletters, urging us to enter the lists and race the clock with ever increasing speed, to be more fashionable and up-to-the-minute than anyone else. Fashion is driven by mass consumerism touting a desperate theology of looking younger, cooler, thinner, sexier, faster – and, inevitably, just like anyone else.
Style, though, is innate. It is an instinctive and discriminating response to fashion, and sometimes it is in fact against it. Style embodies the spirit within, and encompasses elegance, grace, and wit. It is far more than simple obedience to fashion rules, for a stylish woman knows which can be broken and when - she is not moulded after a pattern card of classic chic, for that would be too easy. She is confident in her sartorial choices, she knows who she is, and sometimes she must be more than one woman in a single day. But whether she is athlete, professional or mother, her clothing will always possess a certain sense of style, unique to herself. It cannot be entirely quantified, for it is as individual as her own personality.
Style is confidence in your choice. It is the ability to carry off the outré or the merely witty with panache.
A stylish woman will draw attention and admiration not only by her attire, but in her bearing or posture – and the way she carries herself, walks, stands, gestures, speaks – and certainly also in her grooming.
This sense of style takes time to develop – years, sometimes – and some never quite find their footing, puzzled by and rendered indecisive by the myriad of options clamouring for their attention.
In the simplest of terms, personal style is about what you like, rather than what arbiters of fashion say that you should like. It is knowing your figure and what suits you, in taking pleasure in dressing to please yourself, rather than others. Style is confidence in your choice. It is the ability to carry off the outré or the merely witty with panache. Equally, style can be dazzling by its sheer exuberance, or it can possess a quiet force in minimal elegance.
Style cannot be taught however, and it is not necessarily inborn, it is rather developed over time through self-awareness and conscious choice, which eventually becomes unconscious habit and even instinct.
This probably sounds daunting and a lot of work for something so apparently frivolous (although I would present the argument that feeling one looks one's best is an enormous boost to the self-esteem, impacting on every aspect of life), though it is an evolution that usually begins in the teens, developing fully in adulthood.
But for the fully-fledged adults that believe themselves entirely lacking in style, beginning may be an entirely pragmatic and truncated step, rather than the wild experimentation of teenagerhood that is gradually honed over the years. So in an entirely practical vein, what is required to achieve a stylish appearance with the quickest results?
The first commandment states: Thou shalt know thy sartorial identity, understand thy figure and garb thyself accordingly.
So where to begin?
Assess Your Shape
The first step is to honestly assess your figure – the shape you are now, not the shape you would ideally like to be in six months from now at the completion of your strict diet and exercise regime.
It’s demoralising to hang on to your ‘thin’ or ‘fat’ clothes in the hope (or the glum possibility) that you may be wearing them some time in the nebulous future. By all means hold onto a few choice pieces in a size up for those days when you need them, but you want to look stylish and feel good at the size you are now. So make some time to spring-clean your wardrobe and get rid of those unflattering garments (more on this subject with Commandment No. 6) – it’s very liberating.
In the book The Pocket Stylist by Kendall Farr (Gotham Books, 2004; ISBN 1592400418) there is a great description of three types of figures: types A, B and C. The author includes the additional types D, E and F, which are fuller or plus-size representations of the first three bodies. Here is how to determine your body type:
- ‘Is the width of your shoulders and torso smaller than the width of your hips? You are a Type A.
- ‘Are your shoulders and your hips roughly the same width, with a defined waist? You are a Type B.
- ‘Is the width of your shoulders the same or wider than the width of your hips, with little definition at your waist? You are a Type C.
‘Remember that body types D, E, and F represent women who are fuller variations on A, B and C. Body type D is a voluptuous, ‘full-fashion’ version of body type A, E of B, and F of C. Your body type as defined by your torso silhouette is the very best initial determination of your most flattering shapes and body line, at any size. You can be a size 8 body type B or a size 14W body type E, and many of the clothing shapes, focal points, and balance recommendations will be the same for both and the best route to finding your most flattering looks.’ [The Pocket Stylist]
So take a deep breath, strip off and have a good look in the mirror, taking in the shape of your body, and how each body part relates to the other – or as Farr phrases it, ‘take in a spatial impression of your whole body’.
At this point in Farr’s book, she discusses each of the body types and describes garment shapes and styles that will fit, including tips and things to avoid. I cannot recommend this book highly enough as a handy reference guide, and a goldmine of information if you feel you really need help. It is available to purchase new on Amazon for around US$15, and for more or less the same price on abebooks.com. (Farr has also written Style Evolution, a book for women in their forties and beyond, although I have not read this one.)
Without going into minutiae, proportion is the most important consideration when choosing clothing to flatter your figure. For example, if you have short legs, Capri pants will not be the best length for you – they will cut you off at the ankle and make your legs look even shorter; a long trouser length and at least a little kitten heel is more flattering. Or for the long-waisted (where the torso looks disproportionately long in comparison with the length of the legs), long-line tops will simply shorten the legs even more, and the same effect is created with very low-rise trousers; a top that sits at the natural waist is more flattering, as are trousers or jeans with a higher rise.
If you are unsure about making these assessments yourself, enlist the help of an honest (but kind!) stylish friend, and spend half a day trying on the clothes in your closet, or even in the shopping mall if your wardrobe doesn’t hold enough options.
Determine your Fashion Personality
There is no more uncomfortable feeling than dressing in the morning in a hurry, only to realise throughout the day that you do not at all feel like yourself. Or you catch sight of your reflection in a shop window and wonder who is that badly dressed woman? … Only to be dismayed to realise it is yourself!
Another style trap is fashion schizophrenia – that is, jumping day to day from bohemian to preppy to minimalist looks. Yes, sometimes our look changes slightly from one day to the next – how often have we read of the fashionista who decides ‘who she’s going to be that day’ before dressing in the morning? Some women can carry that off with style and a saucy wink, others just look like a mess. The former are still wearing the clothes – their personality never goes MIA – while the latter are swallowed alive and spat out bedraggled at the other end.
… how often have we read of the fashionista who decides ‘who she’s going to be that day’ before dressing in the morning?
One’s sense of style usually informs every part of life, from clothing to interior design to the choice of career. A minimalist dresser is unlikely to reside in a house styled like Barbara Cartland’s boudoir, and preppy princess probably won’t live in a gothic wonderland. Other likely fashion personas include bohemian, romantic, hippy or hipster, sporty and strong or fierce urban warrior, punk (or steampunk for that matter), tailored and corporate, vintage queen or society princess, bombshell or vamp, nerd or geek, Lolita or schoolgirl, glam or rockabilly.
If you’re not sure where you fit in on the fashion landscape, here are some things to consider: do you have any fashion icons? It could be one of the usual suspects – Audrey Hepburn or Jackie O, or Dita von Teese or Josephine Baker – or it could be an archetype such as a 1920s flapper or a 1940s swing kid. Ask yourself what it is about them that you particularly admire, and is it a realistic option for you to emulate their style? Not only is your figure of consideration, but if you are climbing the ladder in a top law firm, it’s possibly not the best career move to gad about dressed like Lolita.
However, an inspirational icon should not be slavishly copied – you are a unique individual, not a carbon copy – so always add your own twist to a look. Become your own icon. (But stay real – it’s no fun to be worshipped, really – you are a real woman.)
Alternatively, think about which outfits of your own reap the most compliments: take note of shapes and colours. Also, which are the items in your closet that you return to over and over? Many of us have wardrobes jammed with clothes but find that we reach for a choice few time and again.
… wear what works for your figure, flatters your colouring and truly fits in your life.
Look through fashion magazines for what appeals, to find out the season’s latest trends, and ideas for any new purchases that will fit in with your life and style. That is the aim – not to slavishly copy what models are wearing in magazines and on the runways, but to wear what works for your figure, flatters your colouring and truly fits in your life.
Picture Notes
All these black and white images come from Style Book, Fashionable Inspirations by Elizabeth Walker (Flammarion, 2011). I have deliberately selected images of ordinary women (for the most part) rather than models, performers or celebrities who have been styled by a professional or are wearing a costume. In addition, there were very few images to choose from beyond the 1970s, and my choice obviously is affected by my own aesthetic, although I would rarely dress mannishly and I never don a suit. With little text apart from a foreword and the captions, this book is a great resource for inspiration, and is available to purchase on Amazon.
Further Inspirations
Check out these galleries for some further style inspiration:
Top 20 Style Icons
African-American Style Icons
Style.com’s Top 10 icons from 2010
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Come back next week for the Second Fashion Commandment. If you’ve just tuned in, or would like to refresh your memory, click here to review all the Fashion Commandments.
The Ten Fashion Commandments of Miss Moses
AN INTRODUCTION
I have been writing this journal and imparting my sartorial and somewhat tongue-in-chic wisdom for some years now, and the time has come at last to publish my Fashion Manifesto.
Ordinarily I scorn rules and decrees set out by arbiters of fashion: ‘you must own a little black dress, you must own a classic Burberry trench’ etc (click here for my thoughts on these and other fashion diktats) because I am by nature contrary. When I was around eight years old, and my older sister Serena informed me that I was just contrary for the sake of it, my immediate and indignant response was, chin raised defiantly, “I am not!” After I learned the actual meaning of the word ‘contrary’, I had to somewhat ruefully admit I was indeed, although I prefer not to shoot myself in the foot too often – it plays havoc with one’s ability to wear pretty shoes.
While I very much enjoy perusing fashion magazines and websites, I don’t buy into all those declarations of ‘five key items you must own this season’ and the like (quite possibly because I can’t afford to buy some of the more expensive ones). I do enjoy reading the fashion articles too as much as I like looking at the pictures, and I like to be aware of the trends and what is available in stores. But as for shopping and actually committing to the latest looks, I prefer to make my own mind up and make purchases that befit my own life and personal style.
these are universal rules that apply to all …
However, there are a few things I’ve learned over the years, and while they are just a little tongue-in-cheek, these are universal rules that apply to all (except perhaps some native tribal peoplegroups somewhere that don’t go in for shoes). Here they are. Print them out, stick ’em on the front of your wardrobe door, memorise them or take them with you when you next go shopping. Whatever it takes. Thou shalt have style.
THE TEN FASHION COMMANDMENTS
- Thou shalt know thy sartorial identity, understand thy figure and garb thyself accordingly
- Thou mayest look sexy, but thou shalt always remain classy
- Thou shalt have fun with accessories
- Thou shalt not own any ugly or dowdy raiment
- When in doubt, thou must throw it out
- Thou shalt shop with the precision of a military campaigner
- Thou shalt throw away worn out shoes when they art beyond redemption
- Launder thy garments respectfully and they wilt serve thee long
- Thou shalt not be afraid of colour, for life is short, and —
- Thou shalt not wear all black all the time, for thou art not an Italian widow.
Each week I’ll take one of these tenets and discuss them in greater detail. The text will be accompanied by informative and instructional illustrations that will help and guide you along your stylish path to sartorial glory.
Amen.
Crimes Against Fashion: Running Shoes Edition
I must apologise for this dowdy picture (above). I know it is not what you are accustomed to seeing here on SNAP, but sometimes shock tactics are required to get an important message across.
Running shoes have been expressly designed for one thing: running. They are not for walking to work in, no matter how practical and comfortable it may seem in the heat of the moment. Why? Mismatched with business attire, especially black opaque stockings, they form one of the ugliest sartorial statements of the modern era. Not only are they in serious breach of good taste, they make legs look ugly to boot. They are inelegant. They make a dangerous three-quarter-length skirt look dowdy and unflattering.
Did I mention they are ugly?
If you must be comfortable, or need to protect your precious suede peeptoes from the elements during your commute, please invest in some attractive walking shoes, and you can save your treads for the running track where they will be of the most benefit.
Thank you for your attention, and SNAP trusts that offenders will cease and desist in this anti-sartorial behaviour.
This has been a community service announcement.
Head Over Heels
Fashion is a wonderful thing. Not everyone works in a creative field in everyday life, but personal adornment is a form of self-expression that anyone may indulge in and take flight in realms of fancy. There is certainly a place for basic or merely functional clothing, but those plain white tees and straight grey business suits don’t usually make your heart go pitter-pat (unless they’re designed by Roland Mouret).
Sometimes when shopping you might spy some item and instantly fall in love. (You know you’re in love because suddenly you realise life would hold no meaning unless said dress/shoe/bag was in it.) Usually such garments are utterly frivolous and unnecessary because you already own three – but this latest discovery happens to be just exactly the thing you’ve always been looking for but didn’t know it.
At this juncture you might pause for a moment of prudent reflection. Ignore this impulse. This is no reason to pull back. It is always better to give in immediately rather than regret it forever.
Last Christmas my entire department went as an Alice in Wonderland collective for the office costume party – I dressed up as the Queen of Hearts. I knew straight away what I would wear: five things I had purchased after following my heart. Here are their stories …
The Skirt
This dusky pink pinstriped silk skirt is an original piece from the 1920s. It has black velvet hearts and trim around the hems of the two tiers, and it is also sewn with bells all around. It’s the latter that make me suspect the skirt was a costume for a theatre group. Some of them are missing, which is probably a good thing as I’d jingle even more as I moved about in it.
I love the sense of history that comes along with the rust spots in the cream cotton underskirt …
As soon as I stumbled upon this skirt on Etsy I fell in love. It is not in perfect condition, but I couldn’t care in the slightest – I love the sense of history that comes along with the rust spots in the cream cotton underskirt. For the party, I borrowed a vintage petticoat from the theatre’s costume department (see previous story) to fluff out the full skirts on the day. The belled shape is lovely and story-bookish, but the skirt still looks beautiful without the added fullness.
The Coat
Probably the most expensive – and oldest – item of clothing I have ever purchased, this museum-worthy silk velvet striped coat is from the 1850s. Its many delightful points include the chenille fringing, the divine, tasselled hood (that is sadly just a bit too short for my head), frog closures at the front, and sleeve cuffs that are cut at an angle, with a slit at the back (to fit over a fur muff?). There is even a pocket on the inside that fits my iPhone exactly.
This coat was so gorgeous it made me swoon. How could it not? I positively adore coats; it was striped, red and white no less, and it was velvet. With a hood. And chenille fringing. And all the rest. I guarded it zealously in my Etsy wishlist for well over a year. Fortunately it was so expensive I knew it wouldn’t sell any time soon, but one day – to my horror – it disappeared from sale. I knew then that I ought to have taken the plunge and purchased it. A day or two later it returned, and I immediately emailed the seller. According to the measurements and the seller’s estimate in modern sizes, I felt fairly certain it would fit me. We discussed insurance and postage, and at last I made it Mine. All mine.
This coat was so gorgeous it made me swoon. How could it not?
I ought really to store it in a proper archival box with acid-free tissue, but I content myself with a heavy canvas garment bag and storing it flat – heaven forfend I should suspend such a precious vintage piece from a hanger! A costume historian would slap me.
I have worn it just a few times in the year it has been my pleasure to gloat over it. It just fits me, although my neck is patently too long for the hood to sit comfortably on my head, and I certainly wouldn’t want to have shoulders any wider. Its original owner must have been much smaller than me, and at 166cm tall (not quite 5’7”) I am no giant.
It is actually a skating coat, and I would love to know what some young lady wore with it so long ago. I have done some research online and haven’t seen anything like it at all anywhere, although I have gleaned that women usually wore matching coats and skirts. I find it hard to imagine that anyone would really pair such a bold coat with a similarly-striped skirt – perhaps it was merely a plain red skirt, with little red kid skating boots.
The Shell
You’ve all heard that old saying, ‘You snooze, you lose’. Well, once upon a time I spotted a red sequinned 60s shell top on Etsy. It was beaded with a fish scale pattern. It sparkled and it shone. It beckoned me and promised me many delights. The owner wanted $20 for it. I am not sure why I hesitated. A day or two later, my little top was snaffled from beneath my nose. I wiped away a tear or two.
A very long time later along came another shiny red 60s shell top. This one had a harlequin pattern and sported little sequin tassels all around the hem. The owner wanted $40 for it. I clicked ‘add to cart’ immediately.
Vintage beaded wool shell tops like this were extremely common in the 60s, and many of them were imported from Hong Kong. They are now extremely expensive to purchase in Australia (unless one is lucky enough to strike gold in some country charity shop perhaps). A top like this in a vintage boutique here would go for anywhere between $90 and $300 – I’ve seen them in a wide range of prices.
The Tiara
When I picked up this vintage tiara in the Salvos I saw it needed a little TLC, but in spite of this I was immediately charmed. Although I already owned one rhinestone tiara, a 50s or 60s number, I could see this one was very different, and guessed that it was older, perhaps 1940s. Even so, I wasn’t sure whether to purchase it, but some quick research on Etsy discovered that vintage tiaras of this ilk are few and far between – and three or four times the price, even in America. I’d already learned a lesson or two about passing up serendipitous discoveries so I added it to my basket (this one was real, a plastic one from the store was hanging on my arm).
The Shoes
At a cost-per-wear ratio, these Mary-Janes that I bought two Christmases ago from Australian shoe store Wittner must be really cheap by now, I have worn them so many times. I couldn’t go past these either when I saw them in the store: they were red and glittery and even better than Dorothy’s ruby slippers (except they don’t take me home with a click of the heels unfortunately, so maybe they’re not quite as good after all).
… they don’t take me home with a click of the heels unfortunately …
The lovely thing is that infallibly, every time I wear them several people exclaim in delight upon the sight of them. I do love to give fashion pleasure to those around me. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Sometimes Fashion truly takes us to Wonderland. Don’t deny yourself the pleasure.