Animal Instinct

If anything epitomises a Gorgeous Useless Irresistible Little Trifle, it must be this beaded coin purse made in the shape of a Dalmatian dog that I found in an op shop recently.

I find it hard to resist cute and kitsch things that make me laugh. In practical terms, though, I suspect it could prove quite vexing if one is in a hurry, with coins and the like becoming stuck down its legs. But it’s so much fun – a little piece of eye candy – that I obeyed my first instinct to claim it for my own. It can live in my beach bag and become a holiday purse, for on a proper holiday one is never in a hurry.

Photo: Today

Why Don’t People Dress Up for the Opera Anymore?

I first started op shopping (thrift shopping) when I was at art school. My campus was located in a neighbourhood surrounded by second hand and vintage stores, so I had ample opportunity to scour them for treasure. Back then, fewer people frequented op shops, so I had less competition too. Oh, the stories of glorious discoveries I could dazzle you with!

Once such item was this vintage oyster satin opera cloak. I pounced on that with great excitement. Such rich gleaming fabric, falling in luxurious folds, and trimmed lavishly with embroidered ribbon! I couldn’t resist. It was $30, and I did not hesitate to purchase it even though even then I had a latent suspicion that I would never wear it.

That must have been precognition, for in over 20 years I have never once worn it, not even to a dress up party! It’s just so ridiculously melodramatic, and utterly impractical. I never went to the opera, so where would I wear such a frivolous garment? However, I have never been able to part with it, so it still hangs in my storage room. Nowadays I do go to the theatre often, and though very few people wear real evening dress, perhaps I ought to show them how it’s done.

(Photo: March, 2014)

Gilty as Charged!

A while back I bought another useless but completely irresistible little trifle: a headpiece-cum-tiara shaped like golden feathers. The feathers are finely-detailed gold metal attached to a comb that slides into the hair.

Sadly, it is even more useless than I suspected, owing to the fact that it is quite heavy, and I don’t have enough hair to hold it up! Ideally it would rest on back-combed hair, or even a top-knot. As it is, one unwary movement and the tiara would fly off my head. Fortunately I purchased it on a sale website for only $4, so it is not a big waste of money. Still. I could have bought a cup of coffee instead.

The Masquerader

Last December I was just killing time in jewellery store Lovisa when I found this lace metal mask. I fell instantly in love. I have a particular (and probably peculiar) fondness for masks, and have amassed quite a collection during my career.

Of course I haven’t worn this out. Yet. I am waiting for an invitation to a masked ball that will arrive shortly. (I hope my friends that are reading this are taking notes.) In fact, many years ago one of my old friends did host a masked ball (alright, it was just a regular party), and I actually used a strip of black chantilly lace tied around my head as a mask.

As far as useless items go though, this one is up there. It doesn’t actually hide anything. At a masked ball one is supposed to be all incognito so one can safely get up to high jinks undiscovered. One just must make sure to make one’s escape when the clock strikes midnight – before the unmasking.

Also, did I mention it’s been languishing on my tall boy for more than three months, as yet unworn?

But it is pretty though, right? A gorgeous, useless, irresistible little trifle. I thought so. 

Neck Lace

I am a long-standing lover of lace, especially guipure and Battenberg or tape lace (and sometimes a bit of Chantilly). About ten years ago I also started playing around with jewellery making and even did some short courses in silversmithing. I was experimenting with lace inspired pieces, using real fabric lace and also making moulds for casting. However I never pursued the profession seriously. 

Some time after that I started to see a lot of lace-inspired jewellery around, and had to chuckle – I could have been ahead of the competition if I had stuck at it. But as much as I love jewellery, it just was not my métier.

… by conducting a thorough CPW analysis, I find it wasn’t exactly a bargain

Naturally enough I was attracted to this cast metal guipure lace necklace that I found in costume jewellery store Lovisa. It was relatively inexpensive and I bought it, although I think it transpires I have worn it only once or twice. So by conducting a thorough CPW (cost-per-wear) analysis, I find it wasn’t exactly a bargain.

I hereby bring you the inaugural story in my new SNAP category: G.U.I.L.T. Gorgeous, Useless, Irresistible Little Trifles. Sometimes one just has to indulge those hankerings.